Being a foster parent can be more challenging in ways that you don’t even think of. But recently my teens showed me that I over think and make it harder than it needs to be at times. I always think am I going to make them feel uncomfortable if I call them my kid to others, or if I hug them, or tell them I love them. I don’t ever want them to feel like I’m replacing their family.
I was so worried about bringing up family photos and even our family matching pjs. I kept telling myself would it be pushing them too hard. I finally talked to our three teens we have and in unison they said with excitement yes, yes tell me all about this. One of our kids was even screaming saying that she was so excited that she has never been apart of a cheesy loving family to do things together. We began to talk about decorating for Christmas and all the traditions we want to do. This conversation was such a mixed emotion moment for me. The fact that they have never experienced this stuff before made me sad, but then the fact that they see a difference and feel love in my home and with my family filled me with such a happiness. In this conversation I began to think why was I stressing so much about this. All these kids want is to feel like a part of a family.
We have asked them, what has made you feel loved? Their responses blew us away. They love the family dinners, the time we take to get to know each of them separately. They also say the way we are just there for them and give them a safe place to talk and teach them to communicate in a positive and non violent way.
So it is Thanksgiving, we were able to spend the day yesterday as just our family. This was the best day ever, the way we enjoyed cooking and just being with each other. During dinner we had one of our kids write cards with thanksgiving questions. These kids were talking about serious lessons they learned, how they felt loved, and people that have encouraged them. As hard of a year these kids have had they are always able to find some happiness and positivity. After this one of our other kids wrote us all personal letters. This letter was sharing how Scott has been the only father figure in their lives, and thankful for him being there anytime of need. Mine was sharing thankfulness of teaching communication, and that its okay to make mistakes you just have to learn from them, and thankfulness for us loving them and showing them a loving family. Another thing that was in Scott’s letter was bringing them to church! This melt our hearts and truly put our hearts and mind in perspective.
This blog is to say you are capable of giving love. They don’t care about the money, or having things, what they most care about is time together. Don’t get me wrong they ask for gifts for Christmas (they are kids and they deserve it) but they care about the memories we make along the way more. And hopefully these memories is what they will remember for when they start having families.
Our Fostering mission 